Yesterday I was really miserable and grumpy. I think I’d come to the end of my tether with it all, especially the nights of broken sleep and uncertain bottom leakings.
I’m feeling much better today, which is completely in line with my blood results. Those crazy little neutrophils are excelling themselves today… 2.7!
The doctor visited me earlier and confirmed what had been tentatively suggested the day before, that I will be able to go home tomorrow.
I’m still very weak of course – two weeks almost completely at rest and not eating for a week – that’ll do it.
I’d finished my bottle of Ribena – it took me 3 days to sip 500ml. It’s easier to drink than water, but still hard so sipping is the only way. I thought I’d go on a mini expedition to buy another one and see how well I could manage walking. The nurse assured me I didn’t need a mask as my neutrophils are high enough to protect me.
So off I went, walking slowly and surreally – it was like a whole new world I was visiting for the first time. I went quite a way, as the vending machines near the ward only had fizzy drinks so I went to one of the on-site snack shops. I bought a Milky Way too, but when I tried to eat it, I realised it wasn’t such a good idea. Too thick, creamy. That’s why the Ribena is so good, being quite tart, it seems to cut the saliva.
I got back to my room and felt fine. I thought I might feel tired or tight-chested, but all is well. I’m planning a shower now. The nurse has put a chair in there for me, just in case, but actually I think I may just want to stand in it and let the water pour over me.
I had a wonderful shower, standing up, just letting the hot water pour over me. It was such a treat!
Oh, I’m so looking forward to sleeping in a bed that doesn’t crackle with plastic/rubber, to stroking my cat, to going to the toilet without a bed pan, to not being prodded and checked and measured constantly, to seeing my garden. The strongest desire I have just now is to have a long glass of fruit juice, but that will probably take some time, as my throat is still very sore.
They want to put me on a nebuliser to infuse a general antibiotic as a final protective measure. I thought that would happen this afternoon, but it hasn’t, so I guess it’ll be in the morning, or maybe not at all.
For as much as I have moaned and complained about some staff in here, I have to say that they have been really good, caring, sensitive, following what I need rather than what I ‘should’. But I won’t be sorry to say goodbye to even the nicest of them. Perhaps when I’m back in clinic in a few weeks, I’ll pop up and say thank you with some chocolates.