I slept through the whole night, which feels good.
My mouth feels horrid – dry, coated, hard to swallow, gums and tongue a bit sore now. This is all to be expected, but doesn’t make me feel like eating the toast that the sweet Danielle brought in to me a little while ago.
My friend’s feeling better, so will be visiting me today. And the sun is shining, so I hope I’ll feel up to showering and going outside again while I can.
In here, particularly during the night and early mornings, there is a strange whirring sound – I think it may be the air conditioning system or something to do with the building. It sounds like an industrial cleaning machine being used upstairs. When I wake up, it sounds more like a stirring wind blowing past the building, which makes me feel cold, shivery and not want to get out of bed.
The other bothersome noise in here is the damn clock! It ticks! It ticks very loudly and very plastic/mechanically. It’s not a pretty sound. One nurse said some patients take the clock off the wall, but it’s good to have an easy time piece. I just wish it had a more friendly, comforting tick tock.
I’m having an energising email conversation with a friend about being, writing, feeling, thinking, existential questions… I love getting her emails and found myself wishing my mind was working better to respond. But maybe how my mind is working is exactly right for right now! If nothing else, I’m hoping this experience grants me some modicum of inner wisdom.
Prof Russell came in this morning, with his entourage. It was all very quick and to the point. I’d been warned that he is like that. But there really wasn’t a lot to say. I know more or less what to expect and so far it’s all going as it should.
Got my bood test results this afternoon. The spreadsheet is updated. My neutrophils have bounced up 2.4. Don’t they know that’s the wrong direction just now? They need to go down! But it’s all ok. No one’s concerned.
I had quite an early shower today – necessary after a sudden outburst of diarrhoeia. 😦 I stayed under the hot water for ages and considered staying like that all day. It felt good. Once I got out, I felt much better than yesterday.
I went outside with my friend for a good 30-minute walk around the grounds in the afternoon and did a 5 minute cycle a bit later just to show willing… or show off?
I’m back on a drip for fluids now as I was not taking in as much as I was passing out, particularly now I have diarrhoeia. But it’s all fine. The drip should be done by midnight, so hopefully another quiet night.
They did a mouth check today, looking and asking questions about soreness and swallowing. It is getting sore, dry and coated, harder to swallow and my taste is definitely going. I ate an apple earlier, peeled of course; while I could taste the apple flavour and it wasn’t too acid for my mouth, the texture was kinda weird. It’s like the inside of my mouth is coated with a thin lining of cotton wool.
They gave me two little syringes of white stuff to pour down my throat before dinner to protect my gullet from acid and pain. And they’ve said that a paracetamol gargle and Oromorph are available if necessary, if the pain gets too bad. Strangely I don’t feel as anxious about it all today.
Finally, they’ve started to give me the GCSF injections into my stomach again today. This helps the sweet little stem cells get up and going again and doesn’t hurt at all, so I say go for it!!!!